Male victims of domestic violence
Men and women can both be victims of domestic violence and abuse. Men can experience severe levels of physical and emotional abuse. We need to encourage men experiencing domestic violence to reach out for help and find ways to support them that meet their needs.
Men's experiences of domestic violence
Men calling the Men's Advice Line as victims report a wide range of abusive behaviours that they experience:
Physical abuse, intimidation and threats
Including being threatened with violence by their partner, if they don't do what their partner wants them to do or if they do things the partner doesn't want them doing; being threatened that their partner will involve friends and family to abuse him; being slapped, pushed, kicked and other forms of physical violence; being threatened that the partner will call the police as a victim; being threatened with being reported as perpetrator to Children's Services or being threatened with other legal proceedings; being denied access to medical care/ medicine(s); being put in fear by looks, actions, gestures; having personal items, family heirlooms, computer etc. smashed or broken; being told that nobody will believe him because he is a man; being threatened with knives and other weapons; being told if he tries to leave he will never see the children again; being denied sleep or being attacked whilst he is asleep.
Emotional and verbal abuse
Being put down and made to feel bad about himself; being humiliated; being called names; having mind-games played on him; being made to feel guilty and to blame for abuse; experiencing ‘the silent treatment', being ignored; being told he is crazy; being told that he is not the father of their child(ren).
Controlling what he does, who he sees, what he reads, who he talks to; having social life, friends, hobbies restricted or stopped; being constantly accused of having affairs, resulting in his being afraid to go out or talk to anyone for fear of the consequences.
Using the children
Receiving abusive messages from their partner via the children; being excluded from activities with children; being belittled for attempts to care for the children
Minimising, denial and blame
Being told that the abuse didn't happen or wasn't that bad; injuries not taken seriously; being told he was responsible for abuse, that he deserved or caused it.
There are other ways men calling the Men's Advice Line report being abused, including financial and sexual abuse.