Domestic violence myths
Common myths about male victims of domestic violence
Myth - Domestic violence does not happen to men.
Reality - Domestic violence can happen to anyone.
The Men's Advice Line has spoken to and received emails by thousands of male victims of domestic violence since 2007. We also spoke to many friends and relatives of male victims of domestic violence as well as professionals who called about male victims. Domestic violence can happen to anyone regardless of gender.
Myth - The law only protects women who experience domestic violence but does nothing to help men.
Reality - Men and women have the same rights to protection from domestic violence.
To find out what help is available and how you can access it please visit the section What you can do to make yourself safer and the relevant links.
Myth - Men who experience domestic abuse are weak or not 'real' men.
Reality - It takes great strength and self-control to put up with long-term abuse without retaliating
Many first-time callers to the Men's Advice Line initially find it incredibly difficult to talk about their experience of domestic abuse. Some feel that the very fact that they have suffered abuse somehow emasculates them in their own or other people's eyes.
They fear the ridicule or disbelief of friends, colleagues and outside agencies, and worry they might fit the old stereotype of the "hen-pecked" or bullied husband/partner.
They feel that they should be able to shrug off verbal, emotional, and sometimes physical violence from a partner, and that to talk about this or ask for help makes them less of a man. A "real" man should be stoical, self-sufficient and able to cope in all situations.
The reality is that it takes great strength and self-control to put up with long-term abuse without retaliating when you are physically the stronger party. It takes courage to stay in a controlling unhappy relationship (sometimes for years), for the sake of your children, or because you still love your partner and hope that they might change. It takes another type of courage to admit that you are in an abusive relationship, and that you might need outside help.
Myth - Domestic violence doesn't happen in same-sex relationships.
Reality - Domestic violence happens in same-sex relationships too. Some surveys suggest there is domestic violence in 1 out of 4 LGBT relationships.
Find out more about male victims of domestic violence in same-sex relationships here.