Domestic violence perpetrator programmes

We believe that the most appropriate type of help for men who are abusive and violent toward their partners is a domestic violence perpetrator programme (also known as domestic violence prevention programmes).

Domestic violence perpetrator programmes are groupwork behaviour-change programmes designed to help men stop being violent and abusive and learn how to relate to their partners in a respectful and equal way. They run for several weeks and they meet once a week for about two and a half hours in the evening.

What happens at a domestic violence perpetrator programme meeting?

Some groups are discussion based, but most use a variety of interactive exercises to make the learning realistic, stimulating and relevant to men's own situations. There are many different programmes across the UK, and the content will vary, but on the whole they will cover these issues:
· What is violence and abuse?
· Understanding why I'm violent
· Learning that I am in control of my own behaviour and can choose not to be violent.
· Taking responsibility for my behaviour, without blaming others or minimising it.
· Understanding the impact of violence and abuse on my partner and children.
· Learning how to notice when I am becoming abusive and how to stop.
· Learning different, non-abusive ways of dealing with difficulties in my relationship.
· Dealing non-abusively with my partner's anger.
· Recognising how I get wound up and learning how to wind myself down.
· Negotiation and listening- how to build a respectful relationship.

How do domestic violence perpetrator programmes keep partners safe?

Every domestic violence perpetrator programme should have an attached service for partners offering information and support. In fact, a domestic violence perpetrator programme without such a service for the woman who has suffered the abuse is likely to increase the risks towards her rather than promote her safety.

If your partner wants to find out if a domestic violence perpetrator programme is available locally he can ring the Respect Phoneline on freephone 0808 802 4040 or you can ring us yourself if you prefer. It is important to take care of yourself and think about your own needs. You will find different sources of help and support listed in our website pages.